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Really? It’s very simple, the lady or the man in the book or on YouTube tell you that while the clay is wet you can embed the jump ring with that post thing commonly referred to as “the embeddable”. What they don’t (usually) say is WHAT SIZE you will need, if it should be pure silver, sterling silver, copper and heavens what do you do for a brass piece?

However, if you don’t have the “embeddable” HEY, you can always make one! Just take a piece of wire (what size, thickness is never mentioned) twist it into a jump ring, (which is a whole other skill if you want to do it well) and leave a post on it to embed it into the piece. What could be more easy? I’ll tell you. Someone next to me watching every move I make.

While we’re at it, let’s add some more jump rings to the loop of the embeddable. How many? Well, that depends. Does it depend if I want to wear it or if it should be sized for that “elusive someone” who wants to buy it, who by the way, cannot tell you what size they are anyway unless they make the effort to contact you and give you their size. What do you do? Make a whole bunch of them in different sizes? No, I am sure you make one, and hope someone will bite. Now, what are the odds of reproducing exactly what you showed? I dunno. I’m at level -0, like the weather.

And these are a few of the little things that make me a little more nuts than I am.

(to the tune of My Favourite Things)

Jump Rings and closures, wire and pliers,
embeddable thingies, what size is required?
Silver white pieces that just don’t adhere
These are a few things that I really fear….

Back to the embedabbles. There are many great company sites that offer you all different kinds. They give you sizes, too. YAY. Moreover, they show you pictures of the embeddables in different sizes. But are these the REAL sizes” Are these images the REAL SIZES of the embeddable you need? Who knows?? Do I really have to learn what is a 5mm ring or a 3mm one, etcetera…? And this goes for sizes of gems and bezels, which is a whole other story.

And there’s this. I believe everybody. And I am sure everybody is on the up and up. But there are so many tools that will apparently will make your jewelry-making easier, how do you really know? Sometimes the only way is to take a leap of faith and click SUBMIT….and trust me, I am truly submitting to something I’m not sure of.
Need I say, one can choose to use olive oil, balm, slip off or whatever. How about brass plates or rubber stamps for texture and what’s the deal with those great wording stamps that come out totally minuscule? Plus we have to put them on upside down and left to right or I dunno but my brain starts to hurt. I have enough trouble rolling out the clay evenly.  I would LOVE to put a message on my metal but the only one I would be able to do is scratch “I TRIED”….Same deal with the metal alphabet thingies, which come in different fonts and you want mostly all of them but you realize you just can’t have everything as Steven Wright would say, “where would you put it?”. Might I point out here, too, I have no idea of the size of these stamping letters are.

There are also many ways to ring-a-ding-ding. There are templates for rings. There are metal cylindric tubes (but you better buy the half sizes, too) and the mandrels. Ah, the mandrels. Sounds almost like a song. “The mandrel of the morn’ is here, roll out some clay and stick it here..”. I have a plain standing wooden ring mandrel. Apparently, one that is on a stand would be easier. Why? I forget; probably because I could hang it out over a mug warmer or it would free up a hand or something but I cannot remember. But wait, there’s more.  Like thos tubes on the stand I mentioned. Those looked pretty groovy. In the end, the ease factor did not change.

What we need, meaning newbies like me, would be Mandrels for Dummies. As a matter of fact, I would love if someone made a website and sold things that were all for newbies. And as much as I appreciate a “kit”…that’s how I started, we need MORE. Like a whole slew of items from jump rings, to embeddables, dead soft wire, gauges of the wire, jump rings of different sizes and metals, the easiest mandrel and what about a cuff mandrel? But Wait, There’s MORE, This is the Easiest Way to Write a Message on your Jewelry. And it’s on SALE with Free Shipping.

Just click SUBMIT.

BTW. I’ve run out of clay and I’m broke. But I LOVE IT!